Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
