believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
