i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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