You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
