Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
