I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
