OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She needs sedatives and a leash
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
