I love black thongs
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Shame is for Republicans.
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