Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
