I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
