I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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