yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
