That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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