You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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