once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
