Pappa wants mamma naked
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
