new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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