I wannas sexs uuuuu
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize