so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
