What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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