so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
