kristin has been a bad kristin
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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