So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
