What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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