His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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