The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
