I think my vagina is haunted
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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