Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
