My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
