so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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