And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
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