I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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