i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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