They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
