so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
