Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
