My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
