College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I look better un-naked...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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