i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
