Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
