how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
