Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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