its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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