I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize