do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
