Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
