Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
