Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
