hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You did what with his pubic hair?
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