Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
