so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize