Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
