tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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