Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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