I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
