Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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