Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
