i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
