he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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