He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
