There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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