I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize