Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
