how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
